I guess it’s only natural. We think our perception is accurate. The true North.
It can be hard to imagine that those living in our neighborhoods, worshipping beside us at church and even working alongside of us at the office can experience the same days and weeks and years in a completely different way.
It’s hard to believe that our reality is only a glimpse, that it is tainted or painted by the advantages we may enjoy without even fully realizing the benefits, or unfair disadvantages we have been dealt.
Like an eye witness, we see what we see through a lens. A lens colored by past experiences, beliefs, hopes and our own world view. Not that our views are wrong, necessarily, but they are not as unbiased as we would would often like to think.
I first became aware of the term social construct during a humanities course in grad school. On our first evening of class my professor walked into the classroom wearing his jeans backwards, (ahem, or was he? After all, the “correct” way to wear jeans is itself a social construct).
Truthfully, other than his eccentricities and over exaggerated teaching methods, I remember very little about his class. There was a long monologue one evening about why he would never wear a wedding ring, a lecture on redefining gender roles and how his wife changed all of their flat tires, and some other passionate teachings that didn’t stick past the papers and exams that needed to be passed.
However, the night we discussed power in relation to social constructs remains vivid and applicable even today. He held up a bandaid and asked us to consider why it’s color was called “nude.”
I think about that lesson often. While I never thought the unnatural orange shade of the “nude” bandaids matched my porcelain shade, it was close enough, and I never felt offended by the messaging carried by the “nude” label.
Some have. Some still do.
All I’m really trying to say is that sometimes our experiences are only true for ourselves. Let’s not be so quick to discount the experiences of others. Why is it that sometimes we would rather question the story of others, often blaming the victim in cases, rather than enter into the hard circumstances and practice empathy.
Our experiences may not be the same, but we can agree to listen and rally around one anther. We can learn to accept that there are injustices and inequalities; admit when others are not being treated fairly. We do not have to agree, but we have got to stop thinking that our views and perceptions are the right and only way of seeing situations.
Chances are, the color of my nude is different from the color of yours, and we will see things differently. But instead of pointing the finger of judgement, let’s extent the hands of justice.
If there is any hope of us moving forward we have to recognize that we are not all starting from common ground. To think our way is always correct is only setting us up for division and strife, with clearly drawn lines of power, right and wrong, and single-minded thinking.
Our starting places may come from uncommon ground, but if we will enter into the hard conversations we may just find that we can move forward and find more common and steady footing.