I often shy away from speaking out because, like I wrote last week, I struggle and strive toward being seen as a “good girl.” However, the more I read and hear the stories of victims, the more I realize that my silence is not always a way of keeping peace, but rather, it can be a passive allowing of evil to continue.

Especially when it comes to matters, or issues, concerning the church, I would rather speak of the positive and believe that the problems are being handled appropriately. Perhaps it’s my way of “protecting” the ones who share my faith, the ones that I have been communing and worshiping with for as long as I can remember.

I love the church, both locally and globally, and I believe in the good of the church.

But, like everything, the church is full of imperfect people and leaders. It doesn’t take much digging to find news of once powerful evangelical Christian leaders being accused of abusing their power; as of late, it has been the inappropriate behaviors, (mainly sexual in nature), of men in leadership toward women.

Women are coming forward with stories of abuse from every facet of society using #metoo and #churchtoo.

Abuse, of any kind, toward any person is never okay.

As appalling as these accusations are, it is easy to believe that these were isolated events within the church, between individuals. However, as these truths are coming to the surface we are discovering that often other leaders were aware of the inappropriate behaviors and choosing to stay silent, turn a blind eye, protect the leader in question. Or, in some cases, the issues were being addressed internally and discipline handled within the church. From what I’ve seen, “church discipline” consistently celebrates the men in their public confessions of wrong doing, often with standing ovations and cheers for their bravery and honesty, and shames/blames the women, (the victims).

Of course, we should be practicing grace and mercy; but, in so many of these cases, I wonder how the abusers are being held accountable, especially when they are allowed to maintain their positions and status.

In the wake of the #metoo and #churchtoo movements some disturbing quotes and messages by an evangelical leader, Paige Patterson, were unearthed. Patterson has been very open about his counsel with women to stay in abusive marriages and pray for the redemption of their husbands. He told one abused woman to “settle it within the church of God. And if you suffer for it, and if you were misused, and if you were abused, and if you’re not represented properly, it’s okay. You can trust it to the God who judges justly.” (You can read more here and here and here.) He goes on further to suggest that by submitting to their abusive husbands the wives are sharing in Christ’s sufferings.

I find myself saddened by Patterson’s unapologetic views on domestic abuse, and his treatment of women in general as can be seen in his sermons and read in his quoted statements. While he is not the only one, he has been vocal and headlined. I find myself praying for Patterson himself, and also the men and women under his leadership.

I wonder how many of us are clinging to our own thoughts on theology rather than looking to the perfect life modeled through Jesus. Surely to goodness we can see throughout the gospels that Jesus was about prioritizing the lives of people over the rules, laws and cultural norms of the time. Are we allowing our legalism to cloud our good judgement?

Abuse is never okay.

Marriage is a gift from God, no doubt, but when there is abuse in the marriage action needs to be taken to protect the victim(s). The lives of women and children cannot be risked in hopes that the abuser will turn from his evil ways and repent. God can use any situation for his glory, but it is not for us to decide how he will bring about repentance, just as it is not in our capabilities to turn a heart of stone into a heart of flesh. Even time spent in jail, the consequence of a poor decision, can turn an abuser to repentance. We cannot neglect taking care of people in hopes that salvation will come for another.

We cannot value the institution of marriage over the very lives of the ones in the marriage.

All I’m trying to say is that abuse of any kind is wrong. How have the very systems that we created as a covering and protection, for women specifically, become vehicles for abuse? The church should be setting the standard in how to love and care for people, (regardless of gender, religion, sexual orientation, race, etc), not sending them back into {knowingly} dangerous situations.

The church is full of integral and upright men and women, individuals committed to loving God and loving people. We need our leaders to speak up; we need to speak up ourselves. We need to be a people of prayer and faith and action. I believe in the future of the church. The gospel should never be used as a tool to lift up and empower some at the expense of others.

We’ve got to take our stand. Enough is enough.

If the gospel we adhere to is not good news for every person, everywhere, it is simply not the gospel of Jesus Christ.